This month Gollancz is proud to publish Turtle Recall: The Discworld Companion . . . so far . It’s fully updated and up to Snuff, and contains an enormous amount of wonderful stuff, including (but not limited to):
~ What to do when approached by a hermit elephant
~ Where to get beer in Ankh-Morpork*
~ How to play Cripple Mr Onion
To brighten these darkening days, we’ll also be sharing an entry with you every day this week (and a competition on Friday!), to showcase the marvellous nature of this Discworld compendium.
Today’s entry: Ynci the Short-Tempered
Apparently a past queen of LANCRE. A beefy young woman sporting a winged, spiked helmet and a mass of black hair plaited into dreadlocks with blood as a setting lotion. She was heavily made-up in the woad-and-blood-and-spirals school of barbarian cosmetics. She wore a 42D-cup breastplate and shoulder plates with spikes. She had knee pads with spikes on, spikes on her sandals and a rather short skirt in the fashionable tartan and blood motif. She carried a double-headed battle-axe. Her war pony was called Spike.
In the strictest sense, she never existed. She was invented by King LULLY I of Lancre because he thought the kingdom needed a bit of romantic history. But she has an official portrait in LANCRE CASTLE’S Long Gallery, some armour in its armoury (in fact made by one of the OGG family at the King’s instruction), and she features prominently (because of that breastplate) in Birdwhistle’s Legendes and Antiquities of the Ramtops; there is therefore rather more evidence of her existence than most people leave behind them; in these circumstances actual reality is more or less irrelevant. [from Lords and Ladies]