What We’re Watching Wednesday: The Decoy Bride

This is a wonderful, wonderful independent Scottish film which was released straight to DVD in 2011. The DVD is an absolute investment of pure joy. It stars David Tennant, of Dr Who fame, and Kelly McDonald of Trainspotting and Brave renown, and it’s honestly worth every penny.

The story follows the attempts of a famous movie star, Lara, to marry writer James Arber. Determined to preserve the privacy of their wedding, and avoid one particularly persistent journalist, they have a variety of attempts to get married before moving the shenanigans to the remote Scottish island of Hegg. Katie has recently returned to the island, after an abortive career writing a men’s trouser catalogue in Edinburgh, and a failed engagement. She is the only single woman on the island, almost the only person under the age of fifty, and so when the persistent journalist arrives on Hegg disguised as a monk, she’s the natural choice to play the decoy bride and throw him off the scent.

Naturally it all goes wrong, very entertainingly.

The cast is stella, the idea is great, and the script is witty and fun. James Arber’s voicemail message (‘I’m sorry I can’t take your call right now. If that’s Random House, I’ve had a succession of computer issues and an illness, but it’s going really well and I’ll be mailing some chapters at the weekend.’), for some reason, made me laugh a great deal. It’s one of many observations of the writerly life that’s both funny and true – likewise ‘You googled the entire book!’, and a comparison between authors and tortoises, struck a nerve.

Sweet and funny, with beautiful scenery and some fab one-liners, you can pick up a copy for a bargain three pounds online and I promise you won’t regret it. You’ll be laughing along almost from the beginning, watch out for a touching moment with the most charming deaf couple, and for one of the most brilliantly awful costumes David Tennant may have ever worn.